“Beautiful (still)”

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“Beautiful (still)”
Mixed media (collage, acrylic paint and pen)

Impromptu poem added directly on canvas perfectionist eye-twitch (scroll down for poem as a stand-alone)

Rediscovered this small and incomplete canvas recently. It started its journey during a challenging time in college. When I found the therapy of experimenting with deep blues and violets. I attempted to give it some form of direction by starting a mandala with yellow. I’ve been carrying it around since college and previously seeing it only reminded me of projects left incomplete.

Then seeing it again last week, I saw it with new eyes. Not incomplete…but a work in progress!

It’s purpose defining itself during my discovery. I typically stray away from using red paint. Fearing its intensity and not knowing how to use it (wary about how a single drop of red paint can dominate the emotion of the art.

But last week I was aching for an art project but felt stuck too. I started to feel heavy and lousy as the scratchy inner bully chided one of its favorite lies: “Welp, here’s the evidence you were looking for to back up sometimes feeling like a narcissistic hack pretending to be a creative!” Psh! Nice try! But you’re not the loudest voice anymore!

Instead I selected the voice of my therapist who encouraged incorporating “free flow” art projects into my routine. Especially as I explore ways to monetize my art. A way to remember why I started: pure curiosity, an outlet for expression and color color color.

But I didn’t have any yellow paint to finish the mandala…or blue or purple…in fact all I had was a box full of untouched red.

I opened up a tube of red. Then looked at it for a while. And then I shrugged and kept the cap off and now we are here! I look at it and see the beautiful depth of red.

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